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Sanity of a madman
 
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Joys of photography and hatered of ticks
Posted:May 6, 2012 12:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
3477 Views

I love to play naked with a camera and have other people play naked for my camera. Right now I only strip for my wife on film, as I don't want everyone to get pics of my face out there. I am shy that way. My wife poses naked for me a lot too, which is about the only real sexual part of our relationship more often than not.

We love to do naked photography of each other outdoors. The issue this year has been ticks. They are so thick we can't really go hiking, let alone strip down for any fun.

It is fun to just go find a secluded space to strip down though. We go to the dunes in Michigan City, climb to the tops, get great views with the Lake behind us. We have a local park that we hike back into (when the ticks don't stop us) and have our fun out there. Saddly we do not have sex as much as I would like outdoors, but oh well.

The outdoors started early in the relationship, where we both shared the fantasy of sex outdoors. My wife went to the dunes and found "the perfect spot" for public sex. Her perfect spot was in some tall grass behind a twig of a tree out in the open. The only reason we got away with that was that we were there before anyone else that morning. Now we find much more private spots.

Most of the naked pics happen here in the house. No ticks in here at least. (That really is proving to be a problem this year.)

My Wife's boss found out that there are naked pics and that my wife has taken them. As a side note her boss never wears underwar and has shown that off a few times to my wife. So her boss now wants my wife to take some pics for her boyfriend, which I fully endorse. THe boss has been flirting with my wife for a while now, and I keep teasing that she should go for it. It will likely never happen, but I would love for her to open up some and enjoy herself. She has my full permission to fool aorund with another woman, ut I doubt that she ever will. But maybe a photo shoot will start something up, who knows.

So now I have good weather, a new camera, and I just need to find a place that is relatively tick free to take some great new pics.
0 Comments
Reading old journals
Posted:May 4, 2012 8:00 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
3332 Views

Today was an odd day at work. Despite everything going totally haywire, as is the norm for a Friday anymore, I had an extra two hours in my day with practically nothing going on. Long story short, a lot of miscommunication lead to me pushing back a weekly work trip by two hours, so I has to sit and wait.

I decided to use my time going through my flash drive and see what I had on it. There are of course regular files that get used all of the time, but some of it was old back up stuff. In the old back up stuff I found one of the journals I was keeping back in 2003-2004.

Over the course of that year apparently I had a lot happen, some of it I had either forgotten or just actively cose not to think about for a long while. Over the course of that year the following happened:

I tried to hook up with an ex from college despite knowing it was a bad idea.

Tried to date a co-worker which fizzled.

Met a girl through a mutual friend that wanted to date me but I decided against it.

Lost my virginity.

Bought a house.

And Met my wife.

Above I stated that I forgot about some of this, which is true and not true at teh same time. I remember all of it, but somehow everything that happened over that year had spread out over a couple of years of my memory. In retrospect I have a hard time beleiving that all happened in one single year.

Reading what I wrote back then, how I felt back then, I can't help but reflect on how much I have changed since then. I will never claim to be a mature adult. I collect comic books, action figures, and can quote Old Testament Star Wars. But I also noticed how back then I never saw any of those things as strengths, and how I felt that I was fighting so hard to be myself and still be respected.

Now I have the respect of peers and friends, co-workers and management. I am a leader, especially when I don't want to be and no one else is willing to step up.

My real it of difference in that year though was the realization that women were actually capable of liking me. I am a nerd, I know this and love it. And with all of the nerd culture and examples set by the Big Bang Theory, it is hard to remember a time when it wasn't culturally cool as well. But having two different women actively pursue me that year, one the Ex and the other the mutual friend, really surprised me and I didn't have a clue how to deal with it.

Now I have totally different problems in my life. Now though I feel like I can deal with it all, much to my own amazement some days. Back then I wasn't sure how I was going to handle anything. I have grown so much in such a small time.

I wonder what I will look back on in 5-10 years and note how different I have become.
0 Comments
My busy sexless life
Posted:Apr 26, 2012 11:55 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
3316 Views

This is the first time I have logged in in over a week I think. After takign two weeks off from work I knew there woul be a busy week to follow, butthis is getting a little crazy.

The first week back was of course fixing everything that had gone wong while I was gone. I expected that and was prepared for it. The weekend I had to help my dad with his part time retirement business so no days off there. And now we are into this week. Everythign is caught up, but it is now a very slow week so I mostly just sit around waiting for something to do. I hate just sitting and waiting, but that is where my job is right now. Today I worked 5 hours this morning, get to take a few hours off, and then return this evenign to provide some training. Then I get to work 12 hours tomorrow, and finish off the week working 8 hours at my real part time job on Saturday, and then maybe get a chance to relax on Sunday. Maybe.

On top of all this, sex is practically off the table. My hours are just off enough from my wife that we don't have time to do much of anything. When I am not a t work I am running errands non stop it seems, so I am tired. I have fallen asleep on the couch far to many times lately. Normally I stay up after my wife goes to bed, watch some porn to jerk off before going to bed. The past two weeks I just shut down the computer and go to bed because I feel worn out.

SO I have been doing all of my jerking off in the shower when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes this is great, others I am mostly just going through the motions out of habit. Adding insult to injury, the water heater doesn't seam to be providing as much hot water so the water turns cold in the middle of jerking off which pretty much kills the mood.

And while I am home now I have about another ten minutes before my wife gets home to look up things on here for a few minutes, but then I have to log off again, unsure of when I will have time once more to check on anything.

Is it realy so much to ask that someone would want to take care of me instead of me burning out taking care of everyeone else?
0 Comments
My busy sexless life
Posted:Apr 26, 2012 11:54 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
3260 Views

This is the first time I have logged in in over a week I think. After takign two weeks off from work I knew there woul be a busy week to follow, butthis is getting a little crazy.

The first week back was of course fixing everything that had gone wong while I was gone. I expected that and was prepared for it. The weekend I had to help my dad with his part time retirement business so no days off there. And now we are into this week. Everythign is caught up, but it is now a very slow week so I mostly just sit around waiting for something to do. I hate just sitting and waiting, but that is where my job is right now. Today I worked 5 hours this morning, get to take a few hours off, and then return this evenign to provide some training. Then I get to work 12 hours tomorrow, and finish off the week working 8 hours at my real part time job on Saturday, and then maybe get a chance to relax on Sunday. Maybe.

On top of all this, sex is practically off the table. My hours are just off enough from my wife that we don't have time to do much of anything. When I am not a t work I am running errands non stop it seems, so I am tired. I have fallen asleep on the couch far to many times lately. Normally I stay up after my wife goes to bed, watch some porn to jerk off before going to bed. The past two weeks I just shut down the computer and go to bed because I feel worn out.

SO I have been doing all of my jerking off in the shower when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes this is great, others I am mostly just going through the motions out of habit. Adding insult to injury, the water heater doesn't seam to be providing as much hot water so the water turns cold in the middle of jerking off which pretty much kills the mood.

And while I am home now I have about another ten minutes before my wife gets home to look up things on here for a few minutes, but then I have to log off again, unsure of when I will have time once more to check on anything.

Is it realy so much to ask that someone would want to take care of me instead of me burning out taking care of everyeone else?
0 Comments
The active fantasy life
Posted:Apr 9, 2012 6:52 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2012 8:05 am
3358 Views

Random fantasy of the day.

A beautiful redhead decides that I need a shave and that she is going to do it. So she pulls down my pants and lays me down on a table. The nshe pulls off her pants to show me how she is shaved. She stradles me in the 69 position, with her shaved pussy in my face. I am told that I am only allowed to look as she doesn't want any distractions as she shaves me. I enjoy the show as I feel the electric razor around my cock, workign as much as a vibrator as a shaver. I inhale the scent of her pussy. She handles my erect penis to move it so she can get a good close shave. Finally the razor goes off and I feel her wrap her lips around my shaft. I know that is the signal to dig in so I burry my face in her wet pussy. We 69 until we both cum.
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Vacation masterbation
Posted:Apr 6, 2012 12:10 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
3153 Views

SO I am on vacation this week. Mostly I have been staying at home and relaxing (whihc when I went to the doctor yesterday my blood pressure had dropped significantly). Despite taking the week off I am still running all over the place with all the errands that life throws at me, but at least now I can get it all done in my time and to hell with everyone else.

My wife is working this week, but she only does 4-5 hours a day. So she leaves to be at work around 10am and leaves @ 3pm. This has given me the chance to hang out in here some through the day, look up porn, and jerk off as much as I want.

Normally I jerk off in the shower after waking up. I wash my hair, scrub down, and then lay down in the shower and jerk until I cum. Then I jerk off a second time after my wife goes to bed late at night watchign porn on the computer or chatting with someone in the chat rooms here.

This week with ehr being gone I can look up all kinds of porn without having to watch the clock, try to hurry to get off, and still get enough sleep to get up aproxamately too damn early in the morning for work.

Again, I have been running errands non stop all week though. This has cut into my time a little bit. SO I won't get a chance until next week to really play with some of my toys and have a truly good time. I am also hoping that my sinus cold will finally pass and I can fully breathe again without cough and cold meds, the mixture of which changes every other day depending on what works well any given night.
0 Comments
New camera is here
Posted:Apr 4, 2012 1:03 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
3194 Views

I do still need to take some pics yet, so nothing overly exciting today.

Yesterday I took the camera with no working flash out to a local park with very secluded areas that I know of. My wife and I took some pics of each other. The pics she took are on her camera so I don't have access to them, but I will work on taking some new ones of myself soon.

Unfortuantely my wife's cycle started yesterday, whcih as any long time readers know that means no sex for a week. Even though I had to run to her job today on my ay off to get stuff from her to pay her car insurance that she didn't handle yesterday like she should have. Oh well.

I may get her to do more posing for me though. I want to getsome poses with both of us together, real POV shots. She won't do anal at all, but I want ot get a pic of my dick pushing between her cheeks. I might convince her to do that. I would also love to get picks of her rubbing her clit on my cock, which I might manage. I have been promised a hand job this week and will have to try and get pics of that of course.

SO I have all kinds of fun plans for the new camera.
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Saga of the new camera
Posted:Apr 3, 2012 9:42 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
3079 Views

My old camera decided to stop working back in December. The shutter button would not click and thus it was a rather expensive paperweight at that point. My wife said that she would take it to our local camera shop and see about getting it repaired, which never happened as it sat on the coffe table for a few months. Yesterday my wife suggested that I take it in as I am on vacation this week. I was already planning on doing that, but she had to point out to me that it was an option as she never bothered to take it in when she drives right past the place every day. But that is a whole other issue.

SO I take the camera in. After they look at it, they tell me the shutter is dead, and that replacing it would be sending it out to their techs, and replacement pats & time would be $140. A new camera of the same make that had more megapixels and better zoom (essentially my camera but three years newer) would be $200. I told them I would think about it and went home to do some research.

Officially Walmart had the camera for $20 less online' but I didn't want to mess around with shipping it to a store and waiting a few days for it to come in. One of the reasons I want a working camera is that the weather is getting nice out and that means nude outdoor photography season is opening up. A working camera is one of the necessary part for that sport. I decided I was happy paying the extra $20 at the local camera shop. I brought my wife along to check it out as she does know a lot about cameras in general (side hobby of hers).

I got the new camera and brought it home. The first pic was my wife flashing me once I put the memory card in. Then I took some pics of the cats, some video of the cats, just making sure everything worked. Then I tried to take a picture using teh camera's flash (not my wife flashing, but the flash of the camera). Nothing happened.

I had been playing with the camera and switching modes and changng settings, so I thought maybe the factory supplied cheapo batteries were already going low on me. I switched out for new batteries and still couldn't get the flash to snap. For some reason the flash not working was a good excuse for my wife to not pose for any more pictures that evening, even though she did need a naked back rub and foot massage.

Thus I too kthe camera back to the store today and they could not get the camera flash to work either. They are going to replace the camera with a new one, but I have to wait until tomorrow for the new one to come in. I still have the non flashing one until the new one comes in, so I can take all kinds of daytime photos. Still, I might not get much done today, we will see.

But with a new camera (which hopefully will be all sorted otu by tomorrow) there must come new naked pics. SO if there are any requests for good poses let me know. Ithink it is time to update my profile pic so debating what would be a good option there. LEt me know what your thoughts are on that.
0 Comments
Fairly normal anniversery
Posted:Apr 2, 2012 7:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
3039 Views

Yesterday was my anniversery. Things worked out more or less as I expected. As some initial background information, yesterday was the first day in almost two weeks I could breath without a dozen sinus meds, and my sinus infection had mostly run its course.

What my wife had planned for our anniversery was to go out to the dunes in Michigan City, walk around for a while like normal, find a secluded spot, and then screw like rabbits. If the weather was bad then we would find a nice place to park and screw in the car. She had been plannign this for over a week, which is generally a sign that she is making excuses for over a week as well.

Sure enough, first thing I wake up the is watchign the weather and teling me that the predicted high is 10 degees lower than what was announced earlier in the week. So I reminded her that the car was the backup plan anyway and she agreed. We packed up the bags, and she made sure I brought the lube and put that in a bag.

We get out to the dunes, and she decided that we were leaving the bag in the car. She figured it would be too cold to even do much walking on the beach with the wind coming off the lake. I offered to carry the bag in case it was nicer than what we thought, but she insisted on leaving it. Once we were on the beach we saw that it was fairly nice out with the sun and almost no wind. It was in the high 60s, and almost no one was on the beach yet. I pointed this out a few times that we should have brought the lube, or that we could go for it without the lube, which she shot down.

Once we were back in the car after walking around for two hours I pointed out that the one end of the parking lot was empty, and that there was even a side path that no one really used that we could go explore. She was ready to go shopping instead. The highlight of the shopping trip was me buyiung her normal everyday underwear, nothing fun or fancy.

We get home and she needed to take a nap, which i knew was the end of it. She got up from her nap and kept going on all day about how she couldn't figure out why she was so tired.

So, as with every anniversery, we did exactly what she wanted to do, and nothing I wanted. She has said that she wants to go to a local park this evenign and maybe fool around after work, but I doubt that will happen. No point in hoping.
0 Comments
Feel like one of the living dead
Posted:Mar 26, 2012 1:03 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
2942 Views

So been a busy couple of weeks.

Last week I went out to the workshop in Peoria I talked about in my previous blog. Before that I spent the weekend with friends in Indianapolis and their 5 year old who was coughing and sneezing on everyone and everything. I love the , but he is old enough to cover his mouth. Anyway, by the time Wednesday came around and I had the 5 hour drive ahead of me to go to Peoria, my sinuses are clogging up. Which I figure is just my annual sinus hell starting early because of summer coming a few months early.

Buy Thursday mornign I could not breath. I am not exagerating this. I woke up @ 3am on Thursday morning choking for air, coughing for a minute or two before getting a breath in. I teach CPR & First Aidfor the Red Cross part time, so I logically know that if I am coughing, air is coming in and out. And at the time I did feel my lungs inflate and deflate, I just couldn't feel any air moving in and out (again, logically I know this doesn't make any sense). After the coughing/choking finished I sat in bed for a few minutes trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I was afraid to go back to sleep at that point, so I propped up the pillows to sit up, took some nice long deep breaths, and tried to figure out how I was going to call my boss and explain to her that I was too sick to attend the workshop that I argued to go to and waste a fair deal of company money. Somehow I drifted off back to sleep despite fear of breathign and worry about my job.

When the alarm went off I was feeling better. Dayquil is my friend at times like this. I pushed through 2 days of the workshop, hardly able to speak as my voice kept cutting out on me. It was a good workshop and I enjoyed it. The sad part was that I was too tired to go out and explore Peoria any more than finding the Wal-Mart and buying more Dayquil & NyQuil.

This was a dissapointment as they have a store called Swinger's World just down the street from the hotel. I didn't have time to check it out last trip out there, but I had planned for time this go around. Then I became one of the walking dead, coughing up lungs all day long and physically exhaused after class. Maybe next time.

After that I returned home, and have more or less been getting better. I can breath during the day but at night I start coughing non stop again (NyQuil isn't helping much with that saddly). SO I went to work today, finding almost everything messed up from the 2 days I was gone, feeling sick and sleep deprived, and genrally in a bad mood. I also had my physical therapy after work so I am that much more tired now.

All in all I hope to be healthy in the next day or two. I know this is passing as I am clear headed at this point, and my energy levels are coming back despite lack of sleep (either that or I am going into shock, who knows). I even feel good enough to jerk off now which I haven't really been in the mood for the past few days (a sure sign that I am not well). So let us all hope that on my road to recovery I can continue to breath and be well eonough to find some warm secluded spot of forest to take new naughty photos in. Tis the season after all.
0 Comments
Out of town trips
Posted:Mar 9, 2012 2:31 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
2972 Views

The next few weeks are just busy for me. Work in general is screwing up my hours, but I will get a chance to get away for a little bit.

Next weekend I will be down in Indianapolis visiting some friends from college. Before anyone asks, no I will not have time to visit you or meet up with you while there. This is noting personal, but I only get to see my friends from college 2-3 times a year anymore. I need a weekend to just relax and ignore the rest of the world while playing board games, watching movies, and talking about our various sexcapades from college to try and embarrass each other.

The week after that I am going to a trainign workshop in Peorial Il. I will be there for two nights renewing a certification I need for work. I normally have a good time at this workshop despite there being almost nothign to do in Peoria. The first time I wentthere I decided to walk around down town just to see what there was. I found "Swingers World" which I didn't go into. A friend at the conference confirmed that it was a sex shop. Last time I didn't have time to check it out, but I might this go around. I have also been told that Peopria has one of thelargest strip clubs this side of the Mississippi, but I haven't gone looking for that either.

The best thing about trips like this is that when I get into the hotel room at night I can strip down and just relax. I can take a nice long shower, rub myself down, masterbate, and just enjoy a little bit of me time.

I never have time to actually hook up with anyone while I am there unfortuantely. The workshop does take up a fair bit of my time, and if I fail the test at the end I will get fired from my job (so no pressure there). All the same I like to fantasize about meeting up with someone and having a one night stand just because I can. I know, who doesn't have that fantasy, but I am always hopeful.
0 Comments
Sending a message
Posted:Mar 6, 2012 12:58 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
2960 Views

I will be totally honest, I am lousy at sending messages in here. I never know quite what to say in an opening email.

I do know what not to say, as I get the occasional email which is textbook of what not to do. I got one last week from a guy I have never talked to before. It was "I'm in town tonight, call me at (phone number) and we can fuck while I am in town". There are numerous reason why I am not going to meet with someone that sends that message. If I sent it to you and you called me, quite honestly, you aren't really the type of person I am looking for either.

I have tried to compliment people on their profile pics, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. I read profiles and try to respond to what is posted there, such as "I have a similara fantasy" or "Have you done that fantasy yet?'. I know those sound like I am trying to be part of the fantasy, which to an extent I am, but I really just want to know if people are having better luck than I am some days.

I have come out and asked "are you having any luck in here" to a few people. This is normally when I am sleep deprived or really depressed. Again, I just want o know if you are having beter luck than I am. I don't mind if you are seeing other people from this site (some of the people I talk to tell me about other people they date in here, we swap stores as it is). I do kind of want to know how many people you meet up with, because if your numbers are in triple didgets that makes me a little nervous. That much experience and I doubt that I will make a lasting impression.

I have read people's blogs and emailed that I like what they post. Sometimes that opens up some conversation. One person I was talking to because of her blog was emailing me daily and then just stopped visiting the site. A couple that I emailed thanked me for likeing what they wrote but that was all (well they did hotlist me which is better than nothing I suppose).

The most common email I send is a "Thank you for flirting/hotlisting me". I won't lie, I love it when people take an interest in me. I know a number ofthe flirts I get are fishing profiles, the New member as of today that found my profle and lives 1000 miles away. I don't worry about those at all. I tried sending them a message once (the 8 I recieved in one day), and mostly got back responses of "send me your email" or "this message has been deleted ..." from Gay XXX Dates admin.

I do spend a lot of time in the chat room / instant message room in here. Starting off with "hi" works for me. I get people that will message me, which is normally the "can you host/come over tonight?" message. Sorry everyone, I am not going to meet with you after one conversation. Accept it. Yes I am a guy and yes I like sex, but seriously, get to know me a little first. I'm not looking for a commitment or ongoing thing but ask my name and what I am interested in doing is all I am saying.

Everyone is different of course, and what grabs your attention may not grab mine. I know a lot of people insist on a face pic in the first email, which I won't do. If I really trust you after a while I will send a face pic. This is nothing personal, but I really don't know you. Once I feel comfortable then I will consider it. And I am sure that some people look at my profile after I send them a message and then decide they hate my pics, or don't like something from my profile, I understand that.

So ultimately I know there is no one perfect opening message to start off anything. There are some ideas that are better than others (which I have used plenty of the bad ideas). Sometimes I get lucky and other times I don't, just the way it is I suppose.
0 Comments
Sending a message
Posted:Mar 6, 2012 12:57 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 3:41 pm
2907 Views

I will be totally honest, I am lousy at sending messages in here. I never know quite what to say in an opening email.

I do know what not to say, as I get the occasional email which is textbook of what not to do. I got one last week from a guy I have never talked to before. It was "I'm in town tonight, call me at (phone number) and we can fuck while I am in town". There are numerous reason why I am not going to meet with someone that sends that message. If I sent it to you and you called me, quite honestly, you aren't really the type of person I am looking for either.

I have tried to compliment people on their profile pics, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. I read profiles and try to respond to what is posted there, such as "I have a similara fantasy" or "Have you done that fantasy yet?'. I know those sound like I am trying to be part of the fantasy, which to an extent I am, but I really just want to know if people are having better luck than I am some days.

I have come out and asked "are you having any luck in here" to a few people. This is normally when I am sleep deprived or really depressed. Again, I just want o know if you are having beter luck than I am. I don't mind if you are seeing other people from this site (some of the people I talk to tell me about other people they date in here, we swap stores as it is). I do kind of want to know how many people you meet up with, because if your numbers are in triple didgets that makes me a little nervous. That much experience and I doubt that I will make a lasting impression.

I have read people's blogs and emailed that I like what they post. Sometimes that opens up some conversation. One person I was talking to because of her blog was emailing me daily and then just stopped visiting the site. A couple that I emailed thanked me for likeing what they wrote but that was all (well they did hotlist me which is better than nothing I suppose).

The most common email I send is a "Thank you for flirting/hotlisting me". I won't lie, I love it when people take an interest in me. I know a number ofthe flirts I get are fishing profiles, the New member as of today that found my profle and lives 1000 miles away. I don't worry about those at all. I tried sending them a message once (the 8 I recieved in one day), and mostly got back responses of "send me your email" or "this message has been deleted ..." from Gay XXX Dates admin.

I do spend a lot of time in the chat room / instant message room in here. Starting off with "hi" works for me. I get people that will message me, which is normally the "can you host/come over tonight?" message. Sorry everyone, I am not going to meet with you after one conversation. Accept it. Yes I am a guy and yes I like sex, but seriously, get to know me a little first. I'm not looking for a commitment or ongoing thing but ask my name and what I am interested in doing is all I am saying.

Everyone is different of course, and what grabs your attention may not grab mine. I know a lot of people insist on a face pic in the first email, which I won't do. If I really trust you after a while I will send a face pic. This is nothing personal, but I really don't know you. Once I feel comfortable then I will consider it. And I am sure that some people look at my profile after I send them a message and then decide they hate my pics, or don't like something from my profile, I understand that.

So ultimately I know there is no one perfect opening message to start off anything. There are some ideas that are better than others (which I have used plenty of the bad ideas). Sometimes I get lucky and other times I don't, just the way it is I suppose.
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