Just finished reading "Tell me what you want", fantastic book about relationships and sex, good for both! I highly recommend! I’m a shy and quiet person, until you get to know me, or I’m in a comfortable setting. I read profiles, if you message, flirt or just view me, I will likely read your profile, the more you have about yourself the better! Spirituality should open our hearts to life, not condemn others. Race doesn’t matter, but I relate best with ladies within ten years of my age. Not looking for one night stands, a first date should just tell us if we enjoy the company and want a second date. Real ladies: I get fake flirts and messages all the time, if I ask why you why you contacted me, I'm just wanting to know you had a real reason for a little curiosity, and are not some Russian scammer. I like intelligent ladies that enjoy politics, religion, culture, economics, philosophy or science. I enjoy having my opinions and views challenged, in informed dialogue, not dogmatic debate. As cerebral as I am, I have my romantic side in long relationships. I’m not afraid of public displays of affection, holding hands, kissing and hugs are all welcome. In 'the bedroom', I like a variety from traditional and emotional to kinky and experimental from the top or bottom. I like to go to social events that don’t usually involve alcohol or deafening noise. Some examples are ‘meetup’ groups for dancing, games and social discussion. I’m also fond of the water, lakes and beaches for swimming, boogie boarding, even scuba diving. My work life has spanned many fields from Information Technology to Construction to Alternative Energy, and I presently do a lot of volunteering and handy-man work. I like helping people, fixing broken things, and working with my hands. My volunteering centers on labor rights, free speech and community organizing. I like being with people that get along, respect one another with no drama, and resolve disputes with honesty and reasonable compromise. I would love to find a great woman for a fulfilling relationship, but I'm not going to stop living waiting for someone I may never find. Until then, I am happy single, and very happy to date nice ladies who enjoy my company. Trust is absolutely critical in any relationship I am in, friends or otherwise.

My Ideal Person From the first date on, openness and honesty are critical. I’d rather admit we are ‘wrong’ than try to make something ‘wrong’ work. Never be afraid to express any concern or doubt, we are both better served moving on than wasting time and our emotional investment. This applies to any possible relationship.

I feel like looking for ‘the right one’ is a fairy tale most of the time, and while I have not completely given up, I would rather enjoy the life I have now than wait for something ‘perfect’. If she pops up, wonderful, if not, that’s OK too.

If you are just interested in friendship without the possibility of sex, that’s fine, but not assumed, tell me directly and early on. I enjoy relationships of all kinds, but I do want sex in my life, so while I can be your friend and hugger, I’ll still be looking for a lover.

If you are just interested in something more than friends but less than life partners, I am open to that. I think the single most important thing to me in a sexual relationship, is both partners being 100% open in expressing their desires from kinky to traditional, physical to emotional (nobody can read minds), and both partners being willing, within reason, to try to satisfy their partners desires. I have my limits, you have yours. I think each person has desires, abilities, and dislikes, and as long one persons desires are not the other persons dislikes, we can satisfy one another if we choose to.

If you are interested in the life partner possibility, then more than just sex is needed, so look at those ‘about me’ things, do we share a few? The business of life is here, all that in sickness and health stuff, through the good and the bad, we will have to ask those questions and see.

My emotional desires I hope to fulfill would be a friend to mutually share occasionally going to events with, each others well being, helping one another, and true affection and concern. For a life partner, a shared love and respect for one another.

My sexual desires I hope to fulfill would include traditional lovemaking (male dominant) some days, and kinky play such as light bondage, toys, role playing, lingerie, teasing, orgasm denial, masturbation, domination and submission and more for both male and female. Our patriarchal culture has made most women averse to ever exercising female power over a male, so we males lose that half of the sexual experience. I’ve experienced enough female dominance to know I don’t want that half lost due to tradition, so I keep asking. I encourage you ladies to break out of that cultural limitation, most men don’t even know what they are missing! I expect a life partner to comfortably share an expansive sexual relationship.

Ask yourself, do you enjoy your partner taking control? Why would you believe he would not enjoy it as well? Just think about it…

Finally, a relationship will only last as long as both partners are willing to work to keep it alive and healthy. I don’t expect a perfect woman, just a woman honest and sincere to work with.

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Enigma, Garbage, K.D.Lang, sade, celtic

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Light Bondage, Role Playing, Mutual Masturbation, Massage

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Sexual experience, Same/similar fetishes, Sexual appetite, Willingness to freely discuss and try anything, Creativity/Kinkiness level

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
No, I like real women.

Have you ever had cybersex?:
No way. I only want skin on skin.

View more of joseph359aff's responses